Yotzeir Or: Light After Darkness

It's taken me almost a full week to be able to write about the horrific events of last Friday, which I still can't comprehend and feel so much grief for the 26 families of Newtown, CT.  As a parent of a child the same age, this feels so close to home, and so terribly, terribly scary.  When sending Sprocket off on the school bus each day this week, a lump forms, a hole is felt, an unsettled air.  I know that each day it will seem more natural, more normal, after all - this is what is supposed to be.  Not the unthinkable.

I remember so clearly after 9/11 being completly on edge and freaked out everytime it seemed that an airplane was "too low" or seemingly off it's usual flight path.  I sat with my students at URI for weeks and healed along with them, most of us being from New York and New Jersey, unable to reach family and friends for hours post-attack.  It was surreal and awful, yet there was so much hope and resilance.  Someone had done something awful to our country, yet we banded together and seemed to become one.  I'll never forget where I was, or what I was doing when the events of 9/11 unfolded and changed life as we know it, much like any of you reading this.

Yet life as I know it is forever changed once again by Friday's senseless act of violence.  While I appreciate the power of social media (as I sit here blogging...), it's a painful reminder of innocence lost - and how much our political and religious opinions still divide us.  What I write here might be unpopular, or for all I know you might cheer along.  But they are my words, my thoughts, and my right to have these opinions. 

In time of crisis, it's natural to embrace faith - after all - many of us choose to pray to a higher power, whatever that may be, and look to our religion for an answer.  I'm glad that so many of us have found comfort in the walls of our churches, synagogues, mosques, altars, prayer groups, etc. etc. etc. because to me it means you have community, which I think is so important, regardless of your belief system. Yet what social media has taught me is the general assumption that there is a all-knowing, go to answer in this crisis. I keep hearing over and over how terrible it is that these families have lost their children right before Christmas.  How these angels are now in heaven and Jesus is watching over them.  People have created multitudes of memes being shared with these concepts, and I'm having a hard time with it.  Because not all these families celebrated Christmas.  Some of the kids were Jewish, in the middle of celebrating Hanukah.  The night before they lit their menorah, they likely opened presents, they reveled in family celebration.  Some of these families might not even celebrate either.  But in our society, everyone just assumes, which I'm acutely aware of this time of year.  After all, I'm a Jew who lives in Maine.  Lets face it, there's not exactly a lot of us.  I'm realistic, I am secure in my identity and faith, and my young children are too.  While disappointed that Santa doesn't visit our house, they get it. I try not to push my faith views on others, and am happy to explain Jewish customs, holidays and thoughts when asked (which around here is A LOT.).  Yet I'm feeling strange seeing these assumptions, and am focused on these families, who have a long road of healing ahead of them (if they CAN find a way to heal)...way past any holiday past or future.  For the Jewish families (I obviously can't speak for other traditions here), at the funeral service of their children, they said a prayer that they will say every day for a year, called the Mourners Kaddish.  I'm sharing this link from the Jewish Reform Movement about bereavement in case you want to learn more about concepts *I* grew up with, and what kinds of things happen when a Jewish family mourns.  I mention the Mourner's Kaddish specifically, because what always struck me is that in this prayer, it actually says nothing about death. It thanks G-d.  It blesses G-d. It praises G-d. But most of all, it asks for peace.  Peace to all.  Peace for self. Peace on the world. Amen.

One last thought: Judaism has a morning prayer called Yotzeir Or, which is translated as a prayer for morning sun. The concept of the Yotzeir prayer is thanking G-d (however one might translate what G-d is for them) for creating light after darkness.  It's a prayer that is supposed to be said every day, and holds special meaning for me outside of the Mourner's Kaddish, which I have said every day since the first funeral happened.  The idea that each day, we can find light from darkness...well that's a powerful thought to me.  So today I'll continue to pray.  I'll pray that what divides us can still make us one.  That these families will find peace.  That the kids and teachers that lost their lives on Friday are in a safe place now, whatever that concept/place may be.  That their light will forever live on.  And that we will ALL be able to find light after darkness.

Yitgadal, V'yitkadash...

Charlotte
Rachel
Olivia
Dylan
Dawn
Jesse
Ana
Grace
Anne
Emilie
Noah
Jessica
Lauren
Mary
Victoria
Daniel
Josephine
Madeleine
Catherine
Chase
James
Jack
Caroline
Avielle
Benjamin
Allison

Please click here to visit the Newtown Patch's website on how you can help.
AMEN.

Bring on the Starch!

Everyone knows that on Hanukah, we Jews eat potato latkes.  Ok, maybe if you're not Jewish you have no idea what I'm talking about.  Google it.  Potatoes. Shredded. With onions. Eggs. Etc. FRIED.  Key is fried.  It's not Hanukah until you smell like a latke.  And since I've been there, done that on the first night of Hanukah this year, I'm all set smelling like a potato pancake.  Yet for some reason I'm still craving potatoes.  Obviously I just haven't had enough starch.  What?!

Really it's just because I love potatoes.  All forms. Mashed. Baked. Broiled. Scalloped.  Wait, wait, I'm getting hungry typing this so I better contain myself.  Which brings me to this blog post: potato soup.  As in I wanted more potato-y things this week and didn't feel like frying anything.  So I went to my favorite distraction, Pinterest of course and found myself staring at a potato soup recipe.  And since I don't really follow directions well (hence my baking skills are not quite top notch), I used it as inspiration and decided to make my own recipe based off of a few others I found. 

AND IT'S FREAKING AWESOME.

So awesome that I made lame facebook posts about said soup all day as it was cooking in the slow cooker.  And I promised the recipe if it came out good. Since I'm all about spreading the positivity, there's nothing more positive than YUMMY SOUP.  BRING IT ON!

Why just post the recipe on facebook as requested? Why not share the awesomeness with the world aka the 5 of you reading this?  So I present you my version of a recipe, which I expect you to all immediately start making this soup.  Especially since it's going to snow in a few days.  Really - the weather man said so. And that's the truth.

Amy's Not-So-Famous Slow Cooker Potato Soup

Ingredients:
(gather these up first!!)

• 1 bag of frozen hash browns.  I used the southern style ones.  Which means they come diced in pieces.  If you're not lazy like me, you could actually peel your own potatoes and dice them up in little pieces.  I just don't have that kind of energy people.
• 1 can of cream of chicken soup.  (I used low sodium/low fat)
• 2 cans of chicken broth. (again, low sodium, low fat.  It works out to about 24 oz of broth.  I bought one of those boxes of broth which was 32 oz and used most of it.  I'm a bad measurer.)
• 1 block of cream cheese. The standard size? I think it's 12 oz.  I used full fat.  It's pretty much the only fat in the soup.
• Pepper.  I used straight up from the pepper shaker.  Just shook a bunch in.  Use however much you want.  How's that for specific?
• Optional: bacon bits.  I heart bacon.  I know, I know, it's not very kosher of me.  I heart it anyway.  And in my opinion, good potato soup needs bacon bits.  Use as many as you want.  Again, so specific of me.

Directions:

• Place potatoes in slow cooker.  Poor all soups on top.  Add in pepper and bacon bits.  Mix it all together.  This is complicated, right?

(this is what it looked like.  all watery and non-yummy like.)

• KEEP THE CREAM CHEESE IN THE FRIDGE! You don't need it yet.
• Cook the potato/soup/bacon/pepper concoction on low for 6 hours.  I set my slow cooker on 8 hours so it would go longer for the next step.
• After 6 hours, get that cream cheese out of the fridge, open it up, take it out of that vacuum packed foil wrapper and plop it on top of the what now looks like soup.  Right in the middle.  You might want to stir the soup mixture first, and then plop the cream cheese in.
• Put the cover back on and let it cook for another 20-30 minutes.
• Take the cover off, the cream cheese will be all melty (I promise) and mix it all together.
• Cover back on, cook for another 10-20 mins and restir.
• Eat.  It's good.  I promise.

finished product.  non-watery and totally yummy-like.

See you next time for another episode of Amy's Kitchen! (maybe.)